Welcome to The Simple Things, a newsletter inspired by one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes. This is where I do my version of ripping out pages of inspiration from House & Garden UK, try to ignore the fact that I’m already getting emails for Thanksgiving pre-orders, and wondering if my dog will be okay while I’m overseas for a month for a work trip. I think about him all the time.
Today’s titular quote is from the American poet William Stafford, whose poem “Vocation” was the centerpiece of Krista Tripett’s fantastic commencement speech to the graduating class of 2019 at Middlebury College. Those were simpler times.
I tend to ramble, so you might have to expand this email to avoid missing anything. If you enjoy reading this newsletter, please let me know by hitting the heart button or subscribing!
Ain’t that the fucking truth. I feel like there’s a sign above my head that says “It’s been 2 0 days since we’ve had a calm nervous system.” But I suppose that’s what keeps life interesting? Tell me if you ever figure it out.
I can only imagine how events from the past week have wrought havoc on our poor nervous systems. I hope you are doing whatever you can to support your own mental health and to keep your hearts open to those who are not their governments, but merely trying to keep themselves and their families alive.
So thankful for all who came out to support the Threads of Justice opening. For a moment I forgot that it was an even held by Asian people and ate some food before I arrived. BIG MISTAKE because someone had to roll me out after I stuffed myself with craft cocktails, spam musubi, and assorted onigiri. If you missed the show, the denim works of art will be on view at Labor of Love, a dumpling fest and fundraiser for Asian American Advocacy Fund1. Buy your tickets before they sell out. You’ll be able to taste dumplings of all sorts, provided by local vendors, including the Lazy Betty Team, who will be providing dessert.
From Anne-Laure Le Cunff’s “Are we too busy to enjoy life?” [Ness Labs]
Research shows that humans tend to do whatever it takes to keep busy, even if the activity feels meaningless to them. Dr. Brené Brown from the University of Houston describes being ‘crazy busy’ as a numbing strategy we use to avoid facing the truth of our lives. We are scared of idleness because stopping would mean having to really consider what we want out of life and what we currently have. Sometimes the gap feels so wide, we’d rather stay on the hamster wheel.”
To which I say, stick in me in the library returns bin because I’VE BEEN READ.
I had a weird dream where I was Chris Evans and Alba Baptista’s business manager and traveled with them everywhere. It seemed like I was good at what I did and they liked having me around (not in a poly-throuple kind of way). My takeaway from this is that I’m always working, even in my subconscious. P.S. I only remember my anxiety dreams, so this makes it the weirdest one ever.
“A Man Called Fran” by John Jeremiah Sullivan for Harper’s Magazine. A story about plumbing and relationships.
Goo Gone for bandages. [The Strategist]
An inside look into supportive-housing facilities, where the chronically unhoused get a place to live, plus onsite mental and medical support. [The New Yorker]
I like these rechargeable lamps that look more traditional and less space agey. [Pooky]
American Historian Timothy Snyder’s
post about Hamas and Israel is worth reading in full:I want to share a thought about terror and counter-terror, prompted by the Hamas attacks and the dilemmas Israel faces. It is not based on regional knowledge but does draw from scholarly work on the politics of terror and insurgency. It is not so much a take on specific events as a general reminder of the larger shape such events can take.
For the victim, terror is about what it is. For the terrorist, it is about what happens next.
Ask Polly says to be good to your spark.
The Mother’s Revenge, as explained by Whoopi Goldberg and her mother. [TikTok]
No matter how many articles and hot takes there are about adults with children vs. those without, there will always be an overwhelming cultural pressure to get married and have kids. I’ll never forget the time a very self-important audience member asked Francis Ford Coppola what his advice for aspiring directors would be and he replied with contrition, “Getting married is the best thing for a male director because it forces him to focus. It’s the worst thing for a woman to do because it becomes a barrier.” I also have thoughts about microaggressions towards single, childless women but I’ll save that for another post. [NY Times Gift Link]
Related: The Case for Love-Life Balance [The Atlantic]
did a deep dive into the fake texts in Apple’s marketing materials and I found it unnerving because I used to write them and having someone examine them so closely is like having the Hot Priest in Fleabag S2 look straight at the camera at me. If you think you saw me, no you didn’t.Dry Atlas is a guide for alcohol alternatives.
If it’s not on the iCal, does it even exist? [TikTok]
I’m fascinated with these reusable plastic wraps from W&P. I have reuseable beeswax paper but I’m always worried I’ll ruin them. These seem much less maintenance.
“The Protagonist is Never in Control” by Emily Fox Kaplan is such a powerful read. TW: abuse. [Guernica Mag]
I really want to try Jeni’s genmaicha and marshmallows ice cream.
Who gets to live or die? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. This article is about how a particular murder and death row sentence affected two families in Texas, and its local lens made it a little easier to process. The Texas Observer always hits the mark.
I loved reading
“On Intention, Rituals, And Making An Effort”. It’s a lovely reminder of living with intention:In April this year, Derek Guy interviewed Yuki Akamine, a Japanese menswear guru, for Die, Workwear! In the interview Akamine discusses living one’s life with intention: making one’s bed, doing laundry properly and ironing one’s clothes are important daily motions to Akamine even though no one else is witnessing them but himself. The (impeccable) clothes that he wears are one thing, but the way he wears them and conducts himself in his clothes is another. Akamine argues that carrying oneself with grace and consideration leads to a type of elegance that is disappearing from the grasp of younger generations. There is inherent value in doing these things just for oneself, to live the right kind of life.
In another example of living the good life, I really enjoyed reading Dwight Garner’s Grub Street Diet diary:
Almost every morning, I eat the same simple breakfast because I like it so much. I warm a small amount of olive oil in a nonstick pan over medium-low heat, then I crack two good eggs into the pan and cover it with a lid. After three or four minutes, I begin to peek underneath. The whites should be slightly crispy, and the yolks just beginning to cloud. Does this method have a name? I couldn’t think of one, so I emailed my old Times colleague Amanda Hesser. Being Amanda Hesser, she made up a name on the spot: smoggy-side up. I let our dog, Mae, have the yolky plate when I finish. Mae reveres these eggs, too. I can tell because the face she gives me afterward is especially soulful, as if I’ve said something beautiful and true.
The man is talking about fried fucking eggs and suddenly I feel transcendent.
Lots of talk about Delta Skymiles lately and airline loyalty programs in general. I was also a bit shocked in the beginning and though I may not agree with it, I get it: It makes more $$$ sense for airlines to be banks than transit companies these days. Plus deregulation was never the right solution because airlines aren’t like normal businesses. [The Atlantic]
In case you missed it, the Mid Autumn Festival was earlier this month. It’s tradition to gift and exchange mooncakes, which are often filled with lotus paste, red bean paste, or salted egg yolk (not my favorite). The timing always catches me off guard, but I’ll be prepared next year with this recipe for pecan pie mooncakes. [Woks of Life]
gets these chic Swiss-made toothbrushes from her dentist and for about 2 seconds, I considered dumping my electric toothbrush and going manual. I snapped out of it.Full disclosure: I am a board member and therefore very biased with regards to this organization.
the tiktok about capitalism, lol. that’s my best friend and i catching up every time (“how’s work?” --> “i’m just trying to deprogram myself to be productive all the time and take capitalism’s claws off me.” i’m going to try to make the dumpling fest! i am crewing my friend’s film and if we are off that day, i’d love to make it. thanks for the great links, always!
Thank you for the shout-out! I feel honored to be amongst your picks. <3