Joy is not made

to be a crumb.

Welcome to The Simple Things, a newsletter inspired by one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes. This is a reminder to appreciate simple pleasures, like putting on a pair of clean underwear, the way biting into the crisp shell of a French fry gives way to the soft potato fluff, and watching a dog with his head out the window while you’re stuck in traffic.

Today’s titular quote is from the oft repeated but impossible to replicate, Mary Oliver. I don’t know if it was the pandemic that raised her profile, but I’m glad I came across her poetry in some random Instagram post that was probably engineered to get me to buy body wash. I don’t remember the brand, but I’ll always remember Mary.

I tend to ramble, so you might have to expand this email to avoid missing anything. If you enjoy reading this newsletter, please let me know by hitting the heart button or subscribing!

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Mary Oliver is wonderful, but have you met her drunk cousin? I don’t know if there’s any blood relation, but writer Lyndsay Rush is a bit much and I like it.

maryoliversdrunkcousin

A post shared by @maryoliversdrunkcousin

This is a public service announcement, reminding you not to underestimate the sharpness of a mandolin (the kitchen tool, not the musical instrument) or else you’ll wind up lopping off a tiny tip of your index finger like I did a couple days ago. Always use the safety guard or wear appropriate protective gear like this cut-resistant glove. [Amazon]

Looks worse than it is. Resulted in a tiny bit of blood and an unfortunate manicure shape, but I still bandaged it up because the unusual appearance startles young children and Nancy.

Also don’t forget to moisturize your hands! Not all hand lotions are created equal and I’ve found that the cuter the packaging, the worse the hydration. Like certain men and their cars: “We can see you’re overcompensating, hunny.” I picked up a bottle of Clarins Hand and Nail Treatment Cream on a whim one day and I’ve been really loving it. Right before bed, I’ll put on a little Aquaphor on my cuticles, then seal everything in with a layer of Clarins. It’s got an indescribable neutral scent that puts me right to sleep when I’m in bed.

I recently discovered, much to my amusement and embarassment, that some of my friends refer to “pulling a Grace” when they plan to order everything on a menu or in a shop to try.¹ I don’t have any excuse for my behavior other than the fact that life is short and we should maximize the little time we have as much as we can. Two weeks ago, I pulled a Grace and bought a bunch of Girl Scout cookies from a troop’s stand in front of my pilates studio. One of the troop members looked at my pile and in a very deadpan manner said, “We’re gonna need a bigger bag”.

Last week, I pulled another Grace at Buena Gente, a Cuban bakery in my neighborhood, and ordered several pieces of all the empanadas, pastellitos, and croquetas they had (The beef picadillo and vegan soyrizos were my favorites). Their café con leche was also one of the best I’ve hand in a very long time.

Because I’m basically an anthropomorphized muppet, here are the cookies I’ve had and enjoyed recently:

• Trader Joe’s White Fudge Dunkers - The right combination of crisp and sweet. The fudge drizzle will melt in your hand which is a tad annoying, but it’s perfect with the cookie when softened by a good dunking in a cup of coffee or tea.

• Girl Scouts Adventurefuls - I was expecting these to be a softer brownie consistency, but I didn’t mind that they were on the crispier side. As one friend said, they are very “dank”.

• Girl Scouts Lemon-ups - Love a lemony treat, especially one that tells me I’m a go-getter.

• Tim Tams - There really is no substitute. I like to do the Tim Tam slam where I nibble a corner off each short end, dip it in my builders’ tea, slurp and “slam” it into my face.

Are my glucose levels high? Probably. Do I care? Not really.

Old Navy athletic wear is so underrated. They hold up over numerous wears (I basically live in the Powersoft leggings with their side pockets) and it’s reasonably priced! Their Dynamic Fleece Hoodie was on mad sale and love how soft and flattering it looks on me. I honestly get a little sad when I have to launder it.

I know Valentine’s Day is long gone, but I will never stop being a romantic (no matter how shitty online dating gets). I loved reading this list of 100 Acts of Love from the NY Times, especially:

Jenny Rosenstrach

mentioned a lovely sentiment from Amy Krouse Rosenthal’s memoir, Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life:

LOVE - If you really love someone, you want to know what they ate for lunch or dinner without you. Hi, sweetie, how was your day, what did you have for lunch? Or if your mate was out of town on business: How was your trip, did the meeting go well, what did you do for dinner? [My husband] will stumble home in the wee hours from a bachelor party, and as he crawls into bed I’ll pry myself from sleep long enough to mumble, how was the party, how was the restaurant beforehand? The meal that has no bearing on the relationship appears to be breakfast. I can love you and not know that when you were in Cincinnati last Wednesday you had yogurt and a bagel.

The late Rosenthal was a childrens book illustrator and writer of the heartrending “You May Want to Marry My Husband” [NY Times]

One of the benefits of being a grown up is that you can do whatever the fuck you want (within reason and without doing harm to others, and the fact that I feel like I have to qualify this really says a lot about the state of things in the world I think) and what I want is this flower lamp from West Elm. It’s also available as a floor lamp.

Considering buying these in bulk and wrapping everyone I love in them [Gala]

I binge-watched True Detective: Night Country on HBO (sorry, I’m never going to get used to calling it Max). It was so eerie, creepy and haunting — Billie Eilish’s “Bury a Friend” was used to excellent effect. Naturally, some people did not like that the show was so heavily female, but I loved it. I loved that the characters were forced to reckon with their pasts, their roles in the present, and their relationship with those who are no longer physically with us — do they ever really leave? And I really loved the ending. I haven’t really stopped thinking about it since. [HBO & The Mary Sue]

Highly recommend Quikclean Waterless Shampoo for those moments where you can’t be bothered to bathe your dog, but you’re just tired of him feeling and smelling icky. All you have to do is spray it on their fur, massage it in, and then wipe away with a towel. I picked up my first bottle for a vet’s office, who keeps it on hand for post-dog park clean ups or post-surgery cleaning. Skout’s probiotic deoderizer is also a game changer. [1800PetMeds & Amazon]

S and I caught up over dinner at Poor Hendrix in East Lake. Such a wonderful neighborhood restaurant with delicious and reasonably priced food. The fried and smashed sweet potatoes are a signature, as are their brown butter rice krispy treats which I still tucked into while my pants were begging me not to.

Long live the Magnet Man, a local and civic-minded cyclist who rides the rough streets of Atlanta with his magnet bike to pick up sharp debris from the street. When I first moved back to Atlanta there was a ton of construction in my area and I had to replace my tires about 3 times in the first year. I have run flat tires now, but it’s a serious problem and I’m grateful to this man for doing the hard work! [Axios Atlanta]

Can you believe this light-filled space is actually in the basement of a San Francisco house? [House & Garden UK]

These days I find myself seriously reconsidering the way I view building a family. I originally had a very traditional view: I’d date, meet someone, we’d ride up the relationship escalator holding hands, have kids, retire, die. Nowadays, I feel very ambivalent/indifferent about this trajectory. Partnership and marriage don’t feel like givens anymore. I’m an only child with aging parents and few close extended relatives, but I’m not going to resign myself to a life of being alone forever. I just know my family will look differently than I initially imagined. This Atlantic article about friends caring for each other in old age really resonated with me, and I’m reminded of those stories about single moms buying homes to raise their families together. It’s an unusual feeling because I’ve been brought up to believe that blood is stronger than water. But you don’t have to share genetic material to be accepted, cared for, and loved by others. I suppose this is just a really long-winded way to say that I’m accepting applications to join my commune. [The Atlantic & Upworthy]

Most of the angst I feel is from cutting myself free from beliefs I’ve held for most of my life. Instead of feeling liberation, I feel untethered and unsure. After all, these are commonly held conventions for a reason. What if it all goes wrong? Will I have wasted my one and precious life? As Danvers in True Detective would say, “You’re not asking the right question. Ask the right question.”

What if it all goes right?

Tell me what you had for lunch,
G

1. Here’s my villain origin story: Several years ago when I was still living in SF, my friend N came to visit for Thanksgiving. We went to a bakery that had only been open for a few weeks but became famous overnight for their cruffins. I fully went in with the intention of ordering a few pastries, but as I approached to beautiful display case something switched and I informed N that we were getting one of each. Couldn’t tell if she was horrified or delighted, maybe it was both. So that’s what we did. We sampled as many as we could, got a bit feisty with each other because of the sugar rush, and then dissolved into a nap before Thanksgiving dinner. It’s now become part of our friendship lore and N never fails to remind me and other people of this incident.