A life that is worth living

has no shortcuts.

Welcome to The Simple Things, a newsletter inspired by one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes. This is a reminder to appreciate the simple pleasures in life, like watching bumblebees breezing through a garden, fresh fruit tarts, and the vacuums at the car wash because they’re super strong and I don’t have to clean them (many thanks to the employees who do).

Today’s titular quote is from author and poet Benjamin Alire Sàenz. While the wistful part of me agrees with Sàenz, the practical part of me wants to yell “but at least we can try!

I tend to ramble, so you might have to expand this email to avoid missing anything. If you enjoy reading this newsletter, please let me know by hitting the heart button or subscribing!

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“Remember to schedule time for rest or your body will do it for you, and it won’t be at a convenient time,” they say.

I’m repeating this not to be a sanctimonious asshole, but as a warning. Two weeks ago, I bent forward and heard a loud “POP!” in my spine, which led to excruciating lower back pain plus sciatica, which my doctor told me was a herniated disc. I’ve always had some lower back pain since working a corporate desk job in my 20s, but I’ve never had it this bad — I couldn’t drive, couldn’t stand up for more than 5 minutes without my right side feeling like it was on fire. I tried to take Scotty out for a walk and was on the verge of tears while he picked a spot to poop. Meds and PT have been a huge help and while I still have some pain in the morning, it gets less throughout the day and I can drive now.

There was also an earlier incident where Scotty started sneezing blood on me and my bed in the wee hours of the morning, so this household has really been going through it this May. Apparently the culprit was an irritating piece of grass. He’s fine now and hasn’t had another bloody nose since.

All this to say, we may be really talented and productive in our lives but it means absolute diddly squat shit if we don’t take the time to rest. This, of course, is easier said than done because we live in a hyper-capitalist society that values productivity, titles, and wealth. We get rewarded for chasing these things, but are they worth it? Not for me. I feel like a recovering addict in some ways with how much effort I put into deprogramming myself and letting go of these values that don’t serve me in the long run.

Nikita Gill

has a wonderful series titled “The REST AS REVOLUTION Challenge” with prompts to help you take stock of your relationship with rest. I found them to be eye opening. If that’s too much of a commitment, I’ll share a couple quick hitters I shared with a friend earlier this week that have really helped me:

1. Only 3 things max on the to do list. I used to treat to do lists as brain dumps and they would inevitably get overwhelmingly long and unruly. Sticking to 3 items forces me to prioritize what truly needs to be done today and what can be done later.

2. Set a timer for rest. This is definitely inspired by the Pomodoro method. Start with something small, like 5 minutes. Turn on Do Not Disturb and put your phone face down. Read a book or touch some grass. Drink a glass of water and watch the ceiling for a bit. Add a little more to the timer each time you do this. Maybe one day you can rest for 2 hours or more and not feel guilty! Let me know how this feels, don’t leave a single detail out.

There will be good days and bad days. Sometimes rest is not feasible and that’s okay. Tiny victories are still wins, no matter how small they might be.

Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.
- Anne Lamott

Onwards and upwards.

I recently switched from my usual Dior Brow Styler pencil to the Westman Atelier Bonne Brow pencil and I don’t think I’ll ever go back. The Westman has a larger, chiseled tip that makes it easier to shape and fill in the brows (compared to the thin, very fragile Dior pencil). The color is richer and there’s still a spoolie included to soften the look if needed. At $38 each, it’s a pricier option but I think I’m getting more bang for my buck.

My new workhorse. My shade is Bark.

Some Amazon purchases that I thought were worth it:

• After getting burned one too many times, I refuse to buy anything I see in an Instagram ad. I was soooo tempted to break that rule when I saw an ad for a one touch cheese grater, but it was priced at $139! No thank you. It did lead me to discovering the OXO Good Grips Rotary Grater, a cheaper ($18) and more intelligently designed single-use tool. It’s super easy to take apart, clean, and is designed with a cap and seal that allows you to store the cheese in the grater and put the whole thing back in the fridge.

• Is it just me, or are s-hooks surprisingly underrated! I first started using them when I lived in SF because they were a good way of organizing things in my 400 sq ft apartment and now I have a little collection in various sizes: I use the large ones in the laundry or closet to hang clothes, the small ones to hold onto hand towels near the sink, and I always have a couple that have a carabiner on one side in my toiletry bag to hang things in hotel bathrooms while I travel.

• Also underrated? Shoe horns. Why do we deny ourselves the convenience and comfort of shoe horns? IKEA used to sell these really nice bamboo 7 inchers for $7. I got one for Nancy once and as she held it, her eyes dilated and flames shot up behind her as she said “MORE. WE MUST BUY MORE” in a demon-esque voice. I think they’ve stopped carrying them at IKEA but I found a few on Amazon that look solid and are somehow all under $7: This stainless steel one, this extra long one, and this cedar one that can probably double as a moth repellent if you keep it in your closet.

• I got a freestanding holder for my Dyson vacuum because I hate drilling holes in the walls (I know I will inevitably fuck it up). I like that it has holders to organize all the attachments and wheels so I can roll it to a wall outlet to charge.

• I caved and bought a nugget ice maker. This one is significantly cheaper than the one made by GE. I like it but can see that it’s definitely better for parties than for just little ol’ me. It’s a little loud, which bothered Scotty in the beginning but you get used to it.

My back may be cracked, but at least I’ve got snacks:

• Publix Heath cookies - These are the perfect toffee style cookies: salty and sweet, soft and chewy. I tell myself I can only buy a baker’s dozen a month, but I have gone through 3 boxes already.

• Trader Joes Norwegian Crisp Bread - No shade, but some Scandinavian crisp breads taste like packing material and probably serve as some sort of learning tool to teach kids resilience. These ones by Trader Joes are pleasant to the mouth and goes well with cheeses and jams. My only complaint is that break easily, but hey sometimes we break apart and that’s okay.

• Trader Joes Spicy Tempura Seaweed Snack - Crispy and zingy. Not enough servings in a package and a bit greasy, but would repurchase again.

• Wanted to love the papadam chips and the pizza party chips, but the papadam was bland and dry and the pizza party chips were too tomato-y and activated my acid reflux. Did you read the Taste article comparing Trader Joe’s to Shein for ripping off boutique POC brands like Brooklyn Delhi and Fly by Jing’s? “Don’t hate the player, hate the game” some will say but it’s also important to talk about about how the game is rigged. Multiple things can be true.

• HMart Bento Boxes - I think these are usually sold out whenever I shop at HMart, but they just happened to put out a fresh batch when I popped in for groceries and I picked up a box for dinner. I got japchae, rice, omelettes, and Korean fried chicken with a spicy soy garlic sauce. I was too lazy to take out the pickles before microwaving it, but it was still satisfying and for about $10 a box — a deal!

• I recently made Mei’s Sichuan Hot Honey Baklava and my goodness, it was 🔥🔥🔥. The perfect combination of savory and sweet, I subbed walnuts for the cashews and made a couple batches that I dropped off to Nancy and friends. Nancy and I reminisced about how similar they were to a local Chengdu pastry that’s super flaky (thanks to pig lard) and also filled with layers of sweetened Sichuan peppercorn flavor. I still pass the bakery whenever I’m in town, but find the original pastry too rich now.

• If you like hummus, have you met its sexy cousin muhammara? Made with roasted red peppers, walnuts, and pomegranate syrup, it’s an addictively sweet and savory dip that goes well with pita and veg. You’ll find a lot of recipes online, but they’re needlessly complicated. The best and only recipe you need is by Ottolenghi. And sure, you can buy pomegranate molasses or syrup online or in a store, but it’s much cheaper and easier to make at home. [Food Network]

Repeat after me: “My schedule is as full as I’d like it to be for this week.” C/O

With Hitha

My latest pet peeve is Costco shopping accounts that don’t specify where they find certain things. I cannot express the sheer disappointment I felt when I got to my local Costco and couldn’t find the Banana Cream Pie I’d been seeing online. I asked the Bakery department manager and he was so empathetic while delivering the bad news: THEY DON’T SELL IT IN THE SOUTHEAST. BANANA CREAM PIE IS A SOUTHERN TRADITION. YOU GONNA TELL ME THEY’RE GOING TO ONLY SELL LEMON PEPPER WINGS IN BOSTON? THAT FRIED FOODS NOW EXCLUSIVELY BELONG TO MONTANA? I’m not saying we have a monopoly on food, but COME ON.

Have been playing these on repeat:

So glad Tanner Adell’s getting the attention she deserves, especially with her contributions to Beyonce’s Cowboy Carter.

Fuji Kaze’s latest. Shinunoga E-Wa will always be my #1. Also check out his Tiny Desk Japan show:

Choregraphed by Shay Latukolan, who was the genius behind the choreo for Jungle’s "Back on 74".

“It don’t matter if it’s 25 years, 25 months. It don’t matter if it’s 25 days, it was real love” just kills me every single time.

Zayn’s soul folk album hits right. Maybe time your rest break for the length of an album? Because I highly recommend listening to the whole thing. Phones down, volume up.

If this beat doesn’t make your body move, you should definitely consult your doctor.

Another album for your rest break. I was late to the Billie Eilish train, but I’m on it now.

Or this one for your rest break? I love the album title (“What a Devastating Turn of Events”), the energy, and the lyrics.

Sometimes you just want to jam to some traditional R&B.

Or chill to this Bangkok-based duo.

I found these 2 tracks on a playlist titled, “Aggressively sapphic pop” and I love it:

I recently watched Baby Reindeer and while I appreciated the work for what it is, it wasn’t my cup of tea. I’m sure there are many people who will watch it and find that it resonates with them, but I found it akin to trauma porn. Yes, the creator tried to empathetic towards his stalker, but I found it clumsy at best. I find it odd that it keeps getting compared to Fleabag because the only things it has in common is that they were both shows developed from Edinburgh Fringe acts, British, and are memoir-like. The similarities end there. Interested to hear what others think!

Sugar on Apple TV was fascinating and I’m at a loss to describe it. All I can say is go into it with an open mind (and no spoilers!)

Like everyone else in the Netflix-watching world, I started Bridgerton S3. It’s just the brain candy I need right now. I finished Bodkin and it’s great if you like true crime podcasts and Irish accents.

Get some rest this weekend (I MEAN IT),

G