We're here on earth
to fart around.
Welcome to The Simple Things, a newsletter inspired by one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes. This is a reminder to appreciate simple pleasures, like a friend recommending a book unprompted, the way milk swirls in a mug of black coffee, and (what feels like) the antiquated practice of people waving when you let them merge in front of you on the road.
Today’s titular quote is from one of my favorite American writers and humanists, Kurt Vonnegut, who takes the greatest pleasure in going out to buy an envelope instead of buying a bunch and storing at home like his wife suggested. This particular style of meandering about like a Family Circus cartoon is something I really strive for in my daily life. Also did you know that Vonnegut used to own a Saab dealership in Cape Cod? It, uh, didn’t do well and he’s joked that it’s the only reason the Swedes haven’t given him the Nobel in literature.
I tend to ramble, so you might have to expand this email to avoid missing anything. If you enjoy reading this newsletter, please let me know by hitting the heart button or subscribing!
I strived for Gentle January but got stuck on the heavy wash cycle where I got wrung out and tumbled into February. I’m not really sure how I got here, but here I am.
My brain glitches often, but today’s brain fart was a new one even for me: I made 2 breakfasts. For myself. Me. Just one. And I didn’t realize it until I was packing everything up for the office (I almost always eat on my way to work or when I get to my desk). Breakfast #1 was a sundried tomato wrap with pimento cheese, avocado, soft-boiled egg, and tajin. Breakfast #2 was a blueberry-date-spinach smoothie bowl with granola, diced green apples, and coconut chunks. I made an executive decision to move forward with breakfast #1 and save breakfast #2 for dinner tonight.
“Throw everything out of your mind… read a little, sleep. The world will still be here when you wake up, and there’ll still be everything left to do.” - James Baldwin via
Another one from her brilliant Substack: “I think about bell hooks who instilled in me this idea that individual self improvement is dangerous narcissism if it’s not opening us up to the practice of love within the context of community.” I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this.I’m getting pretty tired of the publicity around the polyamorous memoir that has everyone clutching their pearls, but the “Poly people have a scheduling fetish” line made me laugh. Currently have been throwing myself into the dating pool and man do I have some stories (remind me to tell you why I cancelled lunch with a guy at the Cheesecake factory. It has nothing to do with cheesecake). Menawhile I’ve also been encountering a lot of people on the apps who consider themselves part of the ethical non-monogamy community (ENM) and have dated a few. From my personal experience, I’ve found that ENM folks are more intentional, transparent, and less flaky than non-ENM people. The funny thing (at least to me) is that the more time I spend in the ENM world, the more I realize monogamy is a better fit for me. [The New Yorker]
“Everything in the world is about sex — except sex. Sex is about power.” by Mr. Wilde himself. Speaking of sex and open relationships, I enjoyed reading this interview with Emily Morse of the Sex with Emily podcast. [NY Times, unlocked]
J.Crew makes boxers for women made with cooling poplin and designed with closed flys and pockets (!!!). I love them so much, I got 2 in each color during the last sitewide sale. They’re perfect for sleeping in, running errands, or for the pool/beach whenever it gets warm enough.
I think reading parties are a great idea. [NY Times]
put together a great list of trans Girl Scout members you can order cookies from. A great way to support trans lives and get your cookie fix!There is a lot going on right now. Rest when you need, but commit yourself to never look away or become numb to the atrocities against humanity. The demand for a ceasefire continues. [NPR]
Also if you’re going to a public protest, take some necessary precautions in protecting yourself before, during, and after. [Surveillance Self-defense]
Recent things I’ve watched:
The Quiet Girl - Reflective, emotional, sweet. A neglected girl is sent by her harried family to stay with some distant cousins. The movie’s dialogue is almost entirely in Gaelic and in a very Irish style, said a lot of things without saying much. “If you were mine, I’d never let you live with strangers.” held a tenderness that grasped my heart.
The Holdovers - Paul Giamatti is a national treasure and I especially love it when he plays misanthtropic, curmudgeonly characters. A Vulture review put it best by describing the film as “a modest movie about people who don’t share their feelings easily, so when it does decide to wallop its viewer with emotion, it can really catch you off guard”. Some of my favorite lines from the movie:
Paul Hunham (Giamatti): “Life is like a henhouse ladder. Shitty and short.”
PH: “There’s nothing new in human experience, Mr. Tully. Each generation thinks it invented debauchery or suffering or rebellion, but man’s every impulse and appetite from the disgusting to the sublime is on display right here all around you. So, before you dismiss something as boring or irrelevant, remember if you truly want to understand the present or yourself, you must begin in the past. You see, history is not simply the study of the past. It is an explanation of the present.”
If someone called me “penis cancer in human form” the way Giamatti delivered it in the movie, I would crumple to the ground and cry.
Good Grief - I know this Netflix film was panned by a lot of critics and viewers, but I liked it for its earnestness. I’m all for having a little more sincerity these days. Also +1 for adding Elton John’s “This Train Don’t Stop There Anymore” back into my regular listening schedule.
The Equalizer 3 - A completely unnecessary addition to the Equalizer franchise, but was still fun to watch nonetheless (as fun as simulated violence can be). I didn’t realize until the end that this movie was basically a Man On Fire reunion for Dakota Fanning and Denzel Washington.
Poor Things - There’s a lot of think pieces about Emma Stone’s preformance, Yorgos Lanthimos’ depiction of a woman’s sexual freedom from a male gaze, yadda yadda sexual politics yadda yadda… I genuinely enjoyed this movie. It made me think, laugh, and parts of it disturbed me. I was also mesmerized by the aesthetics — the quilted opening titles, the costumes with all the statement sleeves. It was weird and I liked it. I hope we can get more movies that take risks.
I’m 2 episodes into the new Mr. and Mrs. Smith series on Amazon Prime and I’m loving it so far. I also started Jake Johnson’s Self-reliance but got distracted by laundry half-way through. Will finish and report back.
linked to this tweet, “You have so much on your plate you can’t taste any of it”, and I felt that.I think Virginia Woolf’s new year resolutions are appropriate for any time of the year [via
]:Here are my resolutions for the next 3 months; the next lap of the year.
To have none. Not to be tied.
To be free & kindly with myself, not goading it to parties: to sit rather privately reading in the studio.
[...]
To stop irritation by the assurance that nothing is worth irritation [referring to Nelly].
Sometimes to read, sometimes not to read.
To go out yes – but stay at home in spite of being asked.
As for clothes, to buy good ones.
For the person who has everything, how about a sterling silver sleeve for their Heinz Ketchup? [Porta]
Is he the perfect man or is he just a result of the painstaking emotional labor performed by every woman he’s ever dated? I know this is supposed to be satire but if anyone figures this out, can you let me know what you find out? [McSweeney’s]
Inspired to attach charms and orphan earrings to decorate my beanies now. [Mother Denim]
Self-Help by Matt Haig (via
)
How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.
How to release time: breathe.
Loved watching Greta Lee’s GRWM for Vogue:
I liked how Nick Cave reframed forgiveness as an act of defiance rather than an act of concession:
Forgiveness may well be helpful as a form of self-ministering, and may go some way toward releasing you from the annihilating anguish you are in, but it would require a substantial amount of energy that could be better spent elsewhere. In my non-professional opinion, what you should do instead is harness the power of defiance, and refuse to comply with betrayal’s self-abasing rules. Get out of bed, tidy your room, do a bit of exercise, eat something and, as Leonard Cohen sang, in his characteristically world-weary way, ‘get ready for the struggle’.
It’s true that I’m obssessed with my dog. I love every part of him but I especially love his ears — the way they flop up and down when we go on walks, how they perk up the instant he hears cellophane crinkling. I love stroking his ears when we’re lying on the couch together and (this is kind of a stupid and silly thought) I wonder if dogs fixate on parts of their humans and if so, what are they obsessed with? Sometimes Scotty will put his paw on my cheek but I can’t tell if he does that in a “aw aren’t you cute” way or if he’s trying to tell me to shush.
Yours in the struggle,
G
I so look forward to your compilations of thoughts, observations, and mentions. So many gems here. <3