Welcome to The Simple Things, a newsletter inspired by one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes. Here’s where I try not to lust after Andrew Scott’s portrayal of the hot priest in Fleabag, provide regular updates on my dating life (Psych! It’s crickets at the moment), and ask the hard questions, like is it possible to have too many condiments?
Today’s titular quote is from Irish poet Derek Mahon’s, “Everything Is Going to Be Alright”. Here’s fellow Irishman and actor Andrew Scott doing a gorgeous reading that will ruin your life in the best way possible.
I ramble, so you might have to expand this email to avoid missing anything. If you enjoy reading this newsletter, please let me know by hitting the heart button or subscribing!
I am missing a salad fork. Sure, it’s just a Sedlig salad fork by IKEA, but it’s also more than that. It is part of a collection, a workhorse in my home. My OCD is of course flaring up with the knowledge that there is an ODD number of salad forks in my drawer. I’ve looked in my dishwasher, in other drawers, even at work and I’ve come up empty. It’s a curious situation, though on the other hand I think I may have mindlessly disposed it.
Did someone say party? Yes! The Asian American Advocacy Fund is hosting an opening reception for their latest community art project, Threads of Justice, on Saturday, 09/30 from 6-9pm at Distillery of Modern Art. So proud of everyone involved and I’m definitely attending even if I wasn’t a board member! RSVP and more info here.
The Restaurant of Mistaken Orders was a 2017-18 campaign designed to raise awareness for dementia in Japan. The concept was built around a pop-up restaurant staffed by people living with dementia who may or may not get your order right. I know I often get too caught up with perfectionism and efficiency, so the short film was great at pulling me out of that mindset.
Creative studio Little Troop created a cheeky board game for Billie called "No Worries If Not!”. Players have to navigate a set of doomed paths like Judgment Junction, Self-Doubt Spiral, Fertility Forest, and You Look Tired Triangle to get to Everyone’s Happy and No One’s Mad Land. Hm, it’s almost as if the game’s goals are not compatible with reality. Oh wait — it’s literally printed on the ad. [It’s Nice That]
This excerpt from Shelly Turkle’s Reclaiming Conversation really resonated:
The psychologist Barry Schwartz popularized the notion of the “paradox of choice.” While we think we would be happiest if we had more choices, constrained choice often leads to a more satisfied life. In the 1950s the Nobel Prize-winning economist and psychologist Herbert A. Simon made a distinction between people who try to maximize and those who satisfice, a word he invented. A maximizer is a like a perfectionist, someone who needs to be assured that every purchase or personal decision (including the decision about a mate) is the best that could be made. The only way maximizers can know this for certain is to consider all the alternatives they can imagine. This creates a psychologically daunting task that only becomes more daunting as the number of options increases.
The alternative is to be a satisficer. You can still have standards, but you are not haunted by the universe of possible choices. You are happy to take what is before you and make the most of it. Satisficers are, in general, happier because their life tasks are simpler.
I couldn’t help but wonder: How many condiments is TOO many condiments? (Did you see that pivot coming?) Furthermore, does a limit exist? I counted about 20 bottles and jars of flavor warriors in my household, which I feel is a fairly reasonable amount. Curious to hear what you think! For the purposes of this experiment, we’ll classify a condiment as a sauce or substance that can be squeezed or spooned over food to enhance its flavor.
Recently watched You’re So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah which was a riot. It’s kinda nice knowing that everyone struggled during their early teens. Hell, I’m still trying to keep it together. Also watched Heart of Stone, a perfectly fine action thriller starring Gal Gadot and perpetually grumpy Jamie Dornan, and The Equalizer 2, which filled a Denzel-Washington-kicking-ass hole I didn’t know I had.
Listening to Taylor Swift in prison. [The New Yorker]
‘Made in Taiwan’ is the cookbook that couldn’t have existed 20 years ago. [LA Times]
A 24/7 oyster vending machine in Normandy, France. [TikTok]
Did you go down a #Tradwife rabbit hole like I did over the weekend? No? Here, let me fix that for you: My So-called #Tradwife Life [Elle], Behind the Rise of the Online ‘Tradwife’ Movement [VICE], and Is Tradwife Content Dangerous, or Just Stupid? [The Cut]
What does a roofing company have in common with rich luxury and Vanity Fair? [NYTimes]
Generosity is luck going in the opposite direction, away from you. If you’re generous to someone, if you do something to help him out, you are in effect making him lucky. This is important. It’s like inviting yourself into a community of good fortune.
- Twyla Tharp
Your weekly H&G hit: These dreamy Oxfordshire interiors, plus this home with a former-fireplace-turned-shoe-cupboard and sunken tub. [House & Garden UK]
Matriarchy Build is a resource for anyone looking for home improvement advice and pros without the mansplaining.
Land ownership makes no sense. [WIRED via Dense Discovery]
Andrew Doxtater made his Oval Rocker plans free for anyone looking to make a unique and accessible chair. [Andrew Doxtater via Courier]
Patricia Clarkson has zero regrets over choosing the ‘sexy-ass life’ over motherhood. [Glamour]
The Chinese 'Paper Son' Who Inspired The Look Of Disney's 'Bambi' [NPR]
Oh just watching Liebherr R922 excavator with a Powerhand VRS200 car dismantler pulling apart old cars and organizing their parts. One of the most relaxing things I’ve watched in a while. [YouTube]
A cohousing project by 6 friends in Wellington, Australia. It inspires me to want to form a friend compound of my own! [Spacecraft Architects via
]Nate Jensen’s thread of alternative email sign-offs is a gold mine. Definitely borrowing a few for future client emails like:
You’ll never take me alive, Grace
Screaming into the void! But you are here. Odd, Grace
My work here is done. Yours has barely begun. Have fun, Grace
I like to keep people guessing, Grace
I deserve better, Grace
These one-size-fits-most chair duvets are an excellent way to transform random chairs and make them more comfortable without the expense of reupholstering. Unfortunately sold out at this shop, but I wonder if there’s other suppliers. [Dora Daar]
A team of scientists from several universities in the U.S. have developed a silicon-based coating that can prevent materials coming in contact with flames and stop the spread of fires. [Dezeen]
The public lives of private chefs for the rich and famous. [NYTimes]
The psychological importance of stationery. “The back-to-school urge to buy pens and notebooks is not just a nod to nostalgia — it might even be good for you.” The Financial Times GETS me.
I’m thankful for all you guys who have been with me since 1997. I’m thankful for every flaw, every stretch mark, every FUPA… I thank you that I’m here at fucking 42.
- Beyoncé, during her show on her birthday, which also happened to be Labor Day
Here’s a look at a Scottish baby box, which will most likely infuriate and cause you to rage against what we call the U.S. health system. [Twitter — I refuse to call it X]
asked for Etsy recommendations and the comments section delivered. I spent several hours pouring over things like:This felt mouse telling the person across from you to stick ‘em up. Sidenote: Does this make you an accessory to an accessory threatening violence?
This bumblebee pin that looks so realistic, I’m sure someone will try to swat it off my person.
This gorgeous brass pendant light that would retail for 2x as much.
Quilted jacket at a very reasonable price!
The husband and wife team behind Officine Universelle Buly and Cire Trudon reimagined a classic Swiss hiking hotel called Hotel Drei Berge and it is very charming. [via
]Diptyque makes refillable candles now. The glass containers are modeled after their iconic oval label and you can choose and pick which wax candles to use in them.
Nick Cave’s response to a letter writer about in love with an unsuitable man:
You have a crush on a depressed musician with a drinking problem who probably doesn’t feel the same way. By any measure this does not seem the most sensible basis for a relationship, and from my considerable experience in these matters, what I can tell you is that an imagined relationship with this guy is going to be a whole lot more fun than the real thing. My advice to you, therefore, is to dream on a little more — this painful dream that fires up your heart, this mad dream that gives your life sudden meaning, this doomed dream that holds the stars in place — dream till the dream finally loses its allure, then take Seneca’s advice and get out fast. You’ll heal, you know, we always do.
Have been absolutely obsessed with what interior designer Fiona Byrne has done to transform her 750 sq. ft. apartment in Brooklyn. Would you believe that the mezzanine section was added after she moved in? It looks like it was there all along! AD did a feature, but I love her BTS vids on IG.
Today I learned that you can actually heat metal bowls in the microwave. Apparently the issue is that sharp metal objects like foil, forks, and wire can cause electrical arcing and that’s what causes damage. Bowls and spoons are theoretically okay because they reflect microwaves evenly. This whole time I thought people who ate from tiffins and metal bentos just liked to eat their meals room temperature! Even if it’s harmless, I’m still going to avoid putting metal things in the microwave.
I’m also disappointed to say that I have been grossly underusing the power button on my microwave and there’s a reason why my leftovers are piping hot on the outside and cold in the middle. America’s Test Kitchen does a great job breaking this down how to ensure even reheating. [YouTube]
I have not failed. I have learned 10,000 ways that won’t work.
- Thomas Edison