Welcome to The Simple Things, a newsletter inspired by one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes. Here’s where I ponder the big questions like, “Should I get bangs?” and “Would I rather fight one large duck or 25 little ducks?” and “Why can’t the duck(s) and I just get along?”
Of the many, many things that live in my mind rent-free, Kathleen Kelly’s email to Joe Fox in You’ve Got Mail is one that comes up again and again:
Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small — well, valuable, but small — and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."
I spent most of my 20s expanding my life, saying yes to opportunities and parties that would make great fodder in my future memoir (ha!). Now I spend all my time and energy trying to live a small and valuable life. But I wonder: is it because I’m afraid of being brave? Or is it because I’m brave enough to say no to things that ultimately do not enrich my life? My intuition tells me it’s the latter, and I’m trying to be better about listening to her. She has never steered me wrong, yet I always think “Today’s the day she fucks me over.” I don’t regret the stupid things I did when I was younger, but I realize now that they came with a price that I’m still paying (hello, my name is exhausted).
No gift guides, but here are some things I saw and liked.
Shout out to Skout’s Honor Stain and Odor remover. When I woke up one night at 1am to discover that Scotty had essentially created a moat of diarrhea around my bed (with some ending up on my bed), this non-toxic cleaner saved me and actually removed stains and odor (no fragrance, just a fresh, clean oh-it-doesn’t-smell-like-poop-anymore scent). I’m always floored when things and people do what they say they will. Not sure why people say I’m high maintenance. Also great for dog vomit, too. And yes, Scotty is fine.
Keith McNally’s house in the Cotswolds is a dream.
Tapper chains and straps help keep your AirPods close and away from getting lost in couch cushions and storm drains (RIP to my left AirPod that now lives at the bottom of some sewer off Mission St in SF).
I caved and splurged on the Dyson Airwrap and styling attachments when they finally released the Prussian blue and bronze colorway. It truly does use less heat and styles/dries in a fraction of the time. Huzzah, another thing that does what it’s intended to do. I’m on a roll!
Speaking of huzzah, season 2 of The Great is exactly what I needed.
I love winter but it sadly does not love me back. My go-tos for my sand paper-cosplaying skin are Aquaphor (for chapped lips. Please sponsor me!) and the French Biafine Emulsion cream (parrainez-moi, s'il vous plaît). It seems to be the only moisturizer my body will absorb over a long period of time. It’s definitely worth the hype and the cost.
This sharing bowl is handmade in North Carolina by a pair of high school friends. Great for holding large sides or ramen or a young professional-sized amount of ice cream.
One of my coffee snob friends raved about Caffe Umbria Mezzanote and I was shocked to find out it was DECAF. Haven’t tried it yet, but I’m intrigued!
These photos of people reading around NYC. Makes me want to blow this popsicle stand (i.e. my office) and go read (i.e. curl up on a couch with a book and Scotty and eventually fall asleep).
This lovely wireless and rechargeable LED lamp that you can use indoors and outdoors. Comes in several gorgeous Fallow & Ball shades.
Do I need another teapot? No. Do I want this one by Feldspar? Yes. I love that long spout.
What a charming glass bowl that I will most definitely accidentally knock off the counter or drop while washing because I was born with cumbersome limbs.
These hand-thrown, hand painted bowls are perfect for salt, sauces, and snacks.
“You didn’t come into this world. You came out of it, like a wave from the ocean.” - Alan Watts
Taking inspiration from AHP’s newsletter: just trust me.
“We need to remember to listen as much as we talk, especially if we are in a place where we might have a little bit more power than other people, and to talk as much as we listen, especially if we have less power than the people around us.” - Gloria Steinem
Reminder: “The grass is always greener on the side that’s fertilized with bullshit.” - @morganhousel
These Portland-designed glasses are absolutely exquisite. Hand-blown borosilicate glass cradled in 24k gold or pure silver, these are a glamorous way to serve coffee, tea, ice cream, or gummy bears.
Made myself an Apple Cider Whiskey Smash because being surrounded by fall wasn’t enough. I had to ingest it.
“We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.” - Benjamin Franklin’s observation at the time of the signing of the Declaration of Independence
I’m so glad we are living in a time where people are more open about talking about grief. This exchange between Andrew Garfield and Stephen Colbert was so moving. In such cases, grief is unexpressed love and when we can’t direct it to the one we love, we must remember to direct it to ourselves, to others, and to the things/causes/people they loved.
I don’t love the time and expense that comes with traditional manicures (there was a period where I only did gel and ahhh that wreaked havoc on my nails), so I’m very intrigued by this dry buffing manicure kit.
Why are we not talking more about how NASA is working on a way to alter an impending asteroid’s path? This is the kind of hopeful news humanity has been desperately needing!
LOL this broccoli is so angry. LET ME HUG YOU BROCCO.
This delightful advent calendar filled with Japanese stationery items. I loved that their description says “Take our word for it that the contents are a) useful, or b) cute, or c) useful and cute.” It’s like they were talking directly to me.
Shedding a tear for the lack of schmear.
It says oatmeal in the recipe title, but I suspect it’s less breakfast and more dessert. No judgement here.
If you don’t already do so, highly recommend subscribing to Heather Cox Richardson’s “Letters from an American” newsletter. Richardson is a professor of American history who brings historical context to current events. Her Dec. 5th issue lit a fire under my ass for local and national politics (emphasis mine):
In fact, the reactionaries in the current-day Republican Party are a minority of the country. As David Atkins points out in the Washington Monthly, Republicans are operating from a position of weakness. In the United States, Democratic counties produce more than 70% of the nation’s gross domestic product (the total market value of goods and services produced). Democratic states fund the Republican-dominated states that complain about “socialism.” Eighty-three percent of Americans now live in cities, which tend to vote Democratic, and young people are overwhelmingly progressive.
The problem is this: “Democrats…need to win every single election from here to prevent the destruction of democracy, while Republicans only need to win one. And the American system is set up so that Republicans will win sooner or later, whether fairly or by cheating.” Atkins urges the American people to “start thinking about and planning for what ‘Break glass in case of emergency’ measures look like—because it’s more likely a matter of when, not if. It not only can happen here; it probably will happen here. Conservatives are guaranteed to make every attempt to turn America into the next Russia or Hungary. It will take coordinated, overlapping solidarity among both regular people and elites across various institutions to stop it.”
[…]
How can we stop the march of authoritarianism? Thornton says that “it is up to us, the people. No party or leader will save us here. No foreign savior will shake us out of our stupor. Americans need to start caring about democracy enough to act on it…. Apathy is how democracies die. I’ve seen it.”
Reminder that other countries have social safety nets. The U.S. has women.
For the first time, I finally have a better understanding of why my parents are so anxious for me to find a partner. Seeing it written up like this makes me feel a little anxious.
Here’s a little hack: 12ft.io lets you bypass paywalls by displaying the Google cache of articles. You can either enter the paywalled url at the site or add it to the beginning of the url in your browser. Comes in handy when you want to read an article before subscribing.