Heartbreak is one thing, my ego's another

I beg you, don't embarrass me motherfucker.

Welcome to The Simple Things, a newsletter inspired by one of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes. This is your gentle reminder to take the ramp from GA-85 to the Buford Highway connector during rush hour. Yes, you’ll be creeping along in bumper to bumper traffic, but you’ll also be able to enjoy a stunning view of the Atlanta skyline at golden hour.

Today’s titular quote is from an artist who leaves quite an impression — five feet to be exact — Sabrina Carpenter. Even though her latest album came out over a month ago, I’m still listening to it on repeat.

I tend to ramble, so you might have to expand this email to avoid missing anything. If you enjoy reading this newsletter, please let me know by hitting the heart button or subscribing!

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Chocolate malt milkshakes are so underrated, as are malted milk balls¹. For

The Pleasure Lists

, NYT book critic Molly Young recommended ordering a gorgeous assortment of various milk balls from this site to serve as home decor and emergency confections. Even if you don’t go the malted milk balls route, keeping a bowl of house candy within reach is always a good idea. I have a silver bowl of Reese’s Pumpkin cups sitting on my dining room table as I type.

via Molly Young and The Pleasure Lists

Loved this interview with Barbara Kingsolver, especially the way she talks about how JD Vance’s Hillbilly Elegy continues to perpetuate anti-hillbilly bigotry. To echo Kingsolver, everyone is entitled to share their story but this memoir was specifically positioned to represent the story of EVERYONE in Appalachia. That’s a strong claim to make, especially since JD Vance is as Appalachian as Zoolander is a coal miner with onset black lung. [Guardian]

I want so much to be a Wellies girly but I was born with thicc calves. It’s my lot in life that the combination of my body heat, walking pattern, and shapely calves create an industrial-strength suction effect that requires the power of 40 mules to remove one boot.

Sarah Shapiro

recommended boots made by French brand Aigle, which claim to be totally 100% waterproof. These equestrian-inspired ankle boots might be just the ticket for me.

Just got back from an overseas work trip that lasted about a month and I cannot tell you how happy I am to return to my beloved routine… before I have to leave for another work trip at the end of the month (stifles cry). There was a time in my life where I relished the opportunity to leave town, charge things to the expense account, and collect all the points. Well now you can keep the accounts and the points because I’d rather cuddle with my dog at home while watching Gary Oldman fart in Slow Horses.

HOWEVER,

We do live in a capitalistic society and to continue keeping my beloved dog in the material comforts he’s grown accustomed to, I must persevere. The silver lining of it all is that I’ve picked up a few things on the way that make these extended trips a little easier:

• Shiseido Clear Sunscreen Stick SPF 50+ - For face and body. Easy to apply and doesn’t count against your travel liquid allotment. Lasts a while too — unless your mother/boss regularly swipes it from your kit.

• Magic Molecule - Calling this holy water is a bit dramatic, but I can attest that this is great for clearing acne, itchy bug bites (insects love me!), and eczema. The hypochlorous acid market is growing (Tower 28 also makes a good one), but I’ve found that Magic Molecule lasts the longest which makes it the most effective.

• Hanging Mesh Shower Caddy - Good for storing and airing my hair and body wash bars, wet comb, and hanging my travel wash cloth.

• Liquid IV Hydration, Mezcla Protein Bars, and Archer beef sticks - My saving grace for those 14-16 hr work days when the idea of takeout and waiting at a restaurant is too much for my addled brain to handle. [Amazon]

• Retractable Portable Clothesline - Super handy on long trips. Who doesn’t love clean underwear and socks? Still sad that The Laundress discontinued their stain bar, but this laundry bar by Ethique is pretty good.

• Pepto Bismol Chewable Tablets - Enough said, plus no liquid to deal with.

• Anker PowerCore Fusion - Charges fast, nice size.

• Wet Ones Antibacterial Hand Wipes - I like the scent and it cleans without leaving a sticky residue or drying my skin out.

Ina Garten is a national sweetheart. Reading her memoir is like getting to know a superhero’s origin story only it’s made with the best ingredients, and if you can’t find it, store-bought is fine. She exudes quiet strength without sacrificing softness and femininity. It’s wild that she grew up being told she was unlovable when she is truly one of the most beloved figures in the country. [The New Yorker]

Jony Ive designed magsafe buttons for Moncler coats. [FastCompany]

Of course you should immortalize your beloved pet with a custom vase by Katie Kimmel [via

Browser History

]

Two paws up for Katie Kimmel’s ceramics.

Recently read:

• The Husbands by Holly Gramazio - Fun premise and entertaining to read, though I found it dragged a bit in the middle. I enjoyed the ending.

• A Talent for Murder by Peter Swanson - A lot of suspense novels follow similar formulas and if you read enough of them, you can probably predict how a story will turn out. This is the first book in a really long time that kept me guessing at every turn. Nice to know I can still be surprised.

• God of the Woods by Liz Moore - Beautifully written with a real reverence for nature and the people who respect it. I’m generally not a fan of multi-narrative storytelling, but this was extremely well done. One of those books where it’s 2am and you’re still telling yourself, “Last page and then I’ll go to bed.”

I just started The Wedding People by Alison Espach. Will report back.

Was inspired by Jennifer Garner’s AD House Tour to look into planting clover in some sloped areas of the lawn to prevent soil erosion. Might be a project for Spring 2025.²

I had bookmarked Hyland's PRID® Drawing Salve after reading about its ability to draw out splinters (I truly believe I get more than the average person) or ingrown hairs and relieve itching and pain from cuts. If you’ve used this before, please let me know what you think!

K calls this “Buddha and the five stooges of anxiety”:

Obsessed with these cheeky plates by Pollyanna Johnson [via

Skye McAlpine

]

It was in that moment she realized she had no fucks left.

How to do the Heimlich on yourself. Because we’ve all seen that episode of 30 Rock and Sex and the City. [Self Magazine]

How to defeat nosy questions. [NYTimes - Gift Link]

I think I’ve found my next investment purchase, the Metier Ease. You know I love a multitasking item and this can be used as a clutch or a crossbody/shoulder bag. I would love to see if they come out with a calfskin burgundy version.

1. Whoppers are a poor man’s Maltesers. I said what I said.

2. One of the (checks notes) MANY projects I’ve created for myself.